Gerald Roger’s Advice after a divorce – A feminine Response


Part I

Like Gerald Roger, I am not a relationship expert but unlike him, I have never been married so I am definitely not an expert and maybe I don’t know as much has he knows. However, I am a writer and when I read a beautifully written piece; I get all steamed up and become obligated to give a response in the way of my own writing.  

The man that would strive to do half of what Gerald has written is a King. The bad news is – Kings have subjects as well as slaves and prisoners. The good news is – Kings also have queens. Therefore, I would say to all women, if you find yourself a King, help him to treat you as Queen. He can only treat you as a Queen if you compliment his effort at being a King by being a Queen.

What does it take to be a queen? Let us take the approach of looking at the feminine responsibility to all Gerald has listed as his advice after a divorce following 16 years of marriage.

1.    Never stop being court-able.

It is useless putting a fine dress on a pig if the pig would run into dirt any minute. Meet your man half way; if he asks you out on a date, let the butterflies fly in your stomach (the good butterflies). Get your hair, nail eyebrow and eyelashes done. Buy a new dress and go all out as if it was your first date ever. Make him remember the reason why he chose you to be his forever.

2.   Protect the hearts.

a)guard your heart against the proverbial 20% running around seeking to steal it. Ring on your fingers does not stop these foolish few. The truth is you never know what is in them until you are literally in them. You choose to give your heart to your man, celebrate the way he locks it safe and help him to keep it there by not peering out through the window.

Guard his heart by being the best partner you can. Surprise him, excite him and make the relationship interesting enough for him to see his proverbial 20%’s as what they are (the glittering fool’s gold).

3.   Fall in love repeatedly.

You will change, yes you already have, you still are changing. Change is the only constant thing but never grow apart while changing. Let your man in to the process of change. Different situations in life prompt our growth and development, if you let your man into these situations, your changes would not shock, alienate or surprise him. If you carry him along, he would be in on the whole transformation process and would not feel alienated. It’s like living with a puppy for two month, you cannot see the growth as much as a visitor seeing the same puppy after two months, not that a woman is like a puppy.

4.   Choose to be blind.

True, no one is perfect and more imperfections would show as you grow together but also more points of excellence would be reviewed. Choose to dwell on your partner’s perfection. Be blind to his fault so that they don’t consume you. Have you ever wondered why a friend would call you a bitch in anger and you will excuse it on her state of mind while strangers would do the same and you would try to have their head.

5.   Not a broken doll.

Your man is not a puppet or a broken doll. Help him to find himself instead of trying to fix him. The danger is that one day he would wake up and realise he hasn’t been true to himself. Be involved in your man’s continues discovering of himself, that way you are not left out of the beautiful and not too pleasant discoveries he makes. Continue your personal journey of self-discovery and make sure he is in on the ride with you. Love grows with memories and times spent together.


There is more, click on the part 2 to continue reading.

share if you want others to benefit from this and please let me know your opinion by commenting.

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4


6 thoughts on “Gerald Roger’s Advice after a divorce – A feminine Response

  1. Pingback: Beautiful advice from a divorced man after 16 years of marriage | SPICEPLAZA

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