Gerald Roger’s Advice after a divorce – A feminine Response 2

emotions

Part 2

6.  Acknowledgement of Emotions.

Your partner can do everything right but it would all look wrong if you decide to simply be miserable. It is your decision to be happy or sad. You have to strive to be happy with yourself so that your husband’s effort to make you smile would put smile on your face. You need to discover what makes you happy and share this secret with your King. Also go the extra mile to find what makes your King happy and be the one to give it to him.

7.  Separate Actions from Persons.

Expressions like “opening old wounds” and “situations, words and event striking a cord” only emphasises the truth that people can only get to you when you allow them to. Someone calling you a bastard should not hurt you if you have no question about your paternity. Learn to separate your partner’s offence from him as a person. Isolate what he has done that has made you angry and deal with it by thinking of why it has affected you so much. Take time out to think about it if you need to; just make sure your time out does not lead you avoiding or ignoring him. You ever heard of the expression “hate the game, don’t hate the player”; yes hate the offence and not your man.

8. Venting time.

You are human and an important individual. You are allowed to vent your anger, to fear, to worry, be upset, be whatever you feel like but allow yourself to be comforted. Let your partner soothe that hurting soul with his words. Let him massage that aching shoulder. Let him tell you it would be ok when you both know it may not be. He is supposed to be your pillar, lean on him and do not be afraid to be weak. Let him be your strength when you are weak. Let him know you appreciate his strength by taking what he offers you; a shoulder to cry on.

9.  Laughing Gas.

Remember your first date, did you not laugh at every joke he made? Never forget that. Relax, let him feel like he can be silly around you without being judged. Allow him to make you laugh. Laughing transforms embarrassing moments to fun times, I am sure that is what you want; fun times with your partner <wink wink>

Learn to laugh at yourself too. Life looks a lot better, when your eyes are watering, your stomach muscles are aching and you are rolling over with laughter.

10. Soul food.

We learn to show love from childhood and the show of love is a continuous lesson. However, some love language stick like glue to us and you need to learn that which your man speak. You owe it to your soul to be treated like a queen everyday so if hand out those little secrets to your man.

Now return the favour by feeding your man’s soul by speaking his love language. You would feel like a queen when you get a positive feedback from your King. There is no greater joy that when you see love for you ooze out of your man because of something you did. I love to make a man speechless, I don’t know about you. Give it to him in whatever language he speaks, whether it be; a little poem under the bed, a text message at work, breakfast in bed, a rose in the bathroom, even a new sex top.

 

There is more, click on the other parts 1, 3, 4 to continue reading.

share if you want others to benefit from this and please let me know your opinion by commenting.

Part 1

Part 3

Part 4

Gerald Roger’s Advice after a divorce – A feminine Response

marriage

Part I

Like Gerald Roger, I am not a relationship expert but unlike him, I have never been married so I am definitely not an expert and maybe I don’t know as much has he knows. However, I am a writer and when I read a beautifully written piece; I get all steamed up and become obligated to give a response in the way of my own writing.  

The man that would strive to do half of what Gerald has written is a King. The bad news is – Kings have subjects as well as slaves and prisoners. The good news is – Kings also have queens. Therefore, I would say to all women, if you find yourself a King, help him to treat you as Queen. He can only treat you as a Queen if you compliment his effort at being a King by being a Queen.

What does it take to be a queen? Let us take the approach of looking at the feminine responsibility to all Gerald has listed as his advice after a divorce following 16 years of marriage.

1.    Never stop being court-able.

It is useless putting a fine dress on a pig if the pig would run into dirt any minute. Meet your man half way; if he asks you out on a date, let the butterflies fly in your stomach (the good butterflies). Get your hair, nail eyebrow and eyelashes done. Buy a new dress and go all out as if it was your first date ever. Make him remember the reason why he chose you to be his forever.

2.   Protect the hearts.

a)guard your heart against the proverbial 20% running around seeking to steal it. Ring on your fingers does not stop these foolish few. The truth is you never know what is in them until you are literally in them. You choose to give your heart to your man, celebrate the way he locks it safe and help him to keep it there by not peering out through the window.

Guard his heart by being the best partner you can. Surprise him, excite him and make the relationship interesting enough for him to see his proverbial 20%’s as what they are (the glittering fool’s gold).

3.   Fall in love repeatedly.

You will change, yes you already have, you still are changing. Change is the only constant thing but never grow apart while changing. Let your man in to the process of change. Different situations in life prompt our growth and development, if you let your man into these situations, your changes would not shock, alienate or surprise him. If you carry him along, he would be in on the whole transformation process and would not feel alienated. It’s like living with a puppy for two month, you cannot see the growth as much as a visitor seeing the same puppy after two months, not that a woman is like a puppy.

4.   Choose to be blind.

True, no one is perfect and more imperfections would show as you grow together but also more points of excellence would be reviewed. Choose to dwell on your partner’s perfection. Be blind to his fault so that they don’t consume you. Have you ever wondered why a friend would call you a bitch in anger and you will excuse it on her state of mind while strangers would do the same and you would try to have their head.

5.   Not a broken doll.

Your man is not a puppet or a broken doll. Help him to find himself instead of trying to fix him. The danger is that one day he would wake up and realise he hasn’t been true to himself. Be involved in your man’s continues discovering of himself, that way you are not left out of the beautiful and not too pleasant discoveries he makes. Continue your personal journey of self-discovery and make sure he is in on the ride with you. Love grows with memories and times spent together.

 

There is more, click on the part 2 to continue reading.

share if you want others to benefit from this and please let me know your opinion by commenting.

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Risk

Oh thou gentle spirit of deep thought

Why does thou fill the world with shadow?

Why do thou posses cruel skin,

rugged face and eyes of fire?

Why do thou harbour

the deadliest of snakes and scorpions?

 

Oh hear crunching spirit,

you send cowards running

with their tail between their legs.

Your roar shatters the iron teeth

of soldiers and warriors.

 

Your door remains tales

to the bravest of the bravest.

Your hut stands on the skull

of the boldest of warriors.

 

Only a chosen few

shall behold the beauty

of your fury.

Beautiful advice from a divorced man after 16 years of marriage

Hello Fear

fear

My days are weary,
I dine in the shadow of misery,
in the shade of regret,
in the corner of past
mistakes
I sink deeper every moment.
The flicker of light fades out,
the ray of hope lightens out,
the mountain of faith falls flat.
Hold me tight, please
break my free fall,
help me out of my misery.
Speak to my weakened soul,
so this place, may lose it hold,
this fear may lose it control,
this darkness may be swallowed
and this mountain may crumble
@kayologun

Styling a Woman

I love being a woman: what’s not to love?

Is it the staggering monthly pain or the uncomfortable slimy feelings that comes with it.?

Is it the need to pray earnestly for a responsible man and the responsibility, to permanently be on your knees, praying that the man achieves his goals while staying safe and healthy?

Is it the need to constantly appear, spotless and trendy, to make your friends jealous, to make your man proud, to lift your spirit and make you feel good?

At least, this last need, has been simplified by the likes of Silhouette Trends Styling

 

Silhouette Trends Styling is one of many but unique in its own right. It cannot be compared to any other styling blog or website. It brings styles to life and gives it a personality of its own.

Silhouette Trends Styling promotes and highlights different styles with the intent of tailoring these styles to the wearer’s personality. This blog encourages women to embrace their body structure and enhance what they have with the different tailor made combinations. It educates and informs women on what current trend would better suit their body.

 

For me, a date means, a quick run to Silhouette Trends Styling .

An event means a quick peek at Silhouette Trends Styling .

A relaxing afternoon in the park would find me scrolling down Silhouette Trends Styling

Any day would find me, scanning Silhouette Trends Styling, to delete the stress of a scattered box, a disarray shoe rack and a splitting headache that comes with every outing and special occasion.

 

Lost

I remember her

She was innocent and pure

She had sparkles in her eyes

And fire in her heart

 

I remember her

She was open

Willing to please, trusting.

She saw roses  in all thorns.

 

I remember her

She was pure and whole,

confident and strong willed

 

I remember her

For I know her

She is I of years past

She is the age I long to freeze in

She is my youth

that seem so far away.