Continued from Missing Hymen
Inappropriate Definition of Virginity
As the hymen can be broken my many other activities apart from sexual intercourse, it is essential to ask ourselves if truly a woman’s virtue or value should be determined by the presence of a this tissue.. Even medical experts don’t entirely agree to the idea of using the presence of hymen to judge virginity. It is unfair to the female race to be judge by this poor and inaccurate method.
This vague and narrow definition of virginity being the presence of hymen is in desperate need of a rewrite.
- What does “losing your virginity” mean to you?
- Is it a state of mind or a specific act?
- Is it something that can be taken from you, or does it only count if you willingly give it away?
- Where does “fooling around” and “having sex” begin?
In the strictest term; you are a virgin until you’ve had sexual intercourse with the member of the opposite sex but this definition leaves a lot of people out of the loop. While the social policy makers look to redefine marriage to include same sex partnerships, maybe it is time we also revisited what it means to be a virgin.
When we think of virgins, we think of “white wedding innocents” who are pure and decent but the fact is, the standard definition of virginity lets you get away with having many different kinds of sex and still being able to call yourself a virgin. In theory, under the traditional definition of virginity, homosexuals can have sex every day and still be a virgin. You can have oral sex regularly and still be a virgin. Does that really make sense when we use virginity as a yard still to measure innocence, morality and purity?
We should ask ourselves how these situations fit in to the definition of virginity.
- Is someone who is raped or molested no longer a virgin?
- Is actual intercourse the only act that counts when determining ones virginity?
- If you willingly engage in other intimate sexual acts but do not have intercourse, is it fair to still consider yourself a virgin?
- How would you define losing your virginity if you were/are homosexual or bisexual?
- Is being a virgin based on your feelings, what you do, or is it a combination of both?
- Is there an emotional component to losing your virginity, meaning if you have sex but don’t feel anything is different about you, does it count?
- Does the current definition of virginity not exclude homosexuals? Is this right?
- Is virginity subjective (based on how the individual view themselves and what they do) or objective (how the situation is viewed by others on the outside)?
- Is the current definition of virginity and the social stigma attached to it not biased toward girls? Is this right?
Now a day, when women are librated and the issue of virginity is not as serious as it used to be, I would say nobody can stand to say he/she is a virgin if the old standard are to be used. This is because even those that have never had sex before or have their hymen intact are not as decent as those that are sexually active. You’ll be shocked at how far these so called virgins can go, all they want is “no rod in the hole anything else goes”. So who should we call virgins
Virginity should be an emotional and a psychological thing, not purely physical. Virginity is a virtue. Only a woman and her whole being should answer to that, not just her one negligible body part. A lot of feminist groups and even medical organizations are all working together to enlighten the public about the facts and fallacies behind the hymens. I do hope, that in the near future, tightly knit conservative places would embrace the whole hymen concept and eventually transform their way of thinking.
Virginity and Gender.
Now, when we talk of virginity, what comes to mind as I said before is the loss of hymen. One should then be forced to ask if this hymen is in both genders.
- Is a man even expected to be a virgin?
- Is a man’s sexual drive higher than that of a woman?
We live in a world where to be a real man you have to have conquered a number of women. Boys are expected to be sexually active as early as 15 while the girls are expected to wait until they get married. This allows a gap that forces us to ask “who are these boys supposed to sleep with if all the girls are to remain intact till they get married?” yet we look with disgust upon the girls that have lost their virginity. It is certainly not fair to let the boys loose and keep the girls in the case.
However, I’ll like to say this is my personal opinion, influence by my experience and background. Let me know what you think, you are allowed to disagree or agree in the comment box below.