You are the epitome of beauty
the one reason I am called blessed
and women describe me as favoured.
Forgive my temporary absence
I’ve been busy growing,
transforming to be your lady

I fear to find you
in my unprepared state
perchance you find me
unworthy of your love.

I dream of you
as the perfect woman
but  you are not a dream. You are
far from my a dream,
I still see you as perfect.
I’ll share my home with you
I’ll give you my heart
I’ll protect you
I’ll consult you
I’ll love you
I’ll live and die for you.

Tarry a little,
just a little more
till I find the courage
to give you
even if it is the last
thing I do.

Dedicated to C


My destination is clear.

It’s the place only one word

can accurately describe;

Happy –

a simple and straight word

I desired to be born happy,

I needed to live happy,

I want to die happy.


Alas!!! at birth I cried,

from the hard spank

of the nurse’s callused hands.

Mother smiled at the sound

I wondered why my sadness

gladdened her heart.

Wuch!!! There goes

my aim of happiness at birth.


Behold, my aim of living happy

has been void with headache of rent,

trials of finding a mate,

struggles of finding a career,

the process of finding my feet.


My aim of dying happy?

Well, won’t we leave that for later

to the brooding future

as the common natural disasters

makes my heart weary.


However, the joy of the lord

assures me of a peaceful

joyous departure.

His words tell me my birth

was a blessing to the world

and his blessings in turn

tells me every dark is followed

by the brightness of the morning.



              Even though there is still a dark cloud hovering over conversations about sex, there had always been the notion of the 2Ps attached to women’s first time – the pain and the pleasure. For some, it was a smooth pain free transition from being a virgin to finally eating the forbidden fruit but for most it is a strange combination of pain (of tearing through the hymen) and pleasure (of an orgasm.)

My first time was a perfect moment written in bright colours on the midnight sky.  It was in the balcony, on a cool windy full moon night. There was pain, blood, cum, pleasure and four set of unexpected witnesses. We started with a gentle kiss- a long one. Lips locked, we struggled out of our cloths. The throb between my legs seemed to be competing with my heartbeat while he pulled my tongue in, our teeth clashed. I shook as one hand found its way to the throb between my legs and the other caressed my nipple, sending sparks down my spine. Two fingers went inside me as blood rushed to my head. I could hear him whisper

“Your pussy is so tight and juicy”

“I want you” I heard myself say. The fingers seemed to be everywhere inside me, I  craved for more.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes, yes, please” I begged, opening my legs wider and thrusting my hips towards him.

He pulled me on top, held my waist to him with one hand and guided his manhood to the opening of my wet vagina. He raised his hips and I froze for a second. I gasped for air, it seemed his dick knocked the wind out of me. I could feel the sting of tears in my eyes before letting out a scream. I struggled to pull away but he held down my waist.

“Shhhh be strong love,” he whispered in my ears and then moved on to suck my breast.

The sharp pain had reduced to the uncomfortable feeling you get when you just finish dropping a big dump.

“Are you ready?” he whispered on his way to my left breast.

I nodded, steeling myself for the pain.

“Relax” he said as he started to move his hips up and down.

I felt sore but this time, the pain came with some pleasure. Within minutes, the pleasure had over ridden the pain. I could hear myself moan as he plunged deeper and faster. My head felt light, I held on to him screaming for more. For a moment, it seemed like he hit a fast-forward button on the throb between my legs as thousand fireworks rushed into the spot and all the muscles in my belly seemed to contrast. I shook and screamed as he plunged deeper with every thrust.

Then it was over and a sweet sleep came over me as I lay my head on his bare chest. We woke up to a bloody bed and four witness; our parent. In all I can say the norm of the 2Ps is true; the night I lost my innocence was that of painful pleasure in the dance of the waist and the tearing of the tissue.


Continued from Missing Hymen

Inappropriate Definition of Virginity

As the hymen can be broken my many other activities apart from sexual intercourse, it is essential to ask ourselves if truly a woman’s virtue or value should be determined by the presence of a this tissue.. Even medical experts don’t entirely agree to the idea of using the presence of hymen to judge virginity. It is unfair to the female race to be judge by this poor and inaccurate method.

This vague and narrow definition of virginity being the presence of hymen is in desperate need of a rewrite.

  • What does “losing your virginity” mean to you?
  •  Is it a state of mind or a specific act?
  • Is it something that can be taken from you, or does it only count if you willingly give it away?
  • Where does “fooling around”  and “having sex” begin?

In the strictest term; you are a virgin until you’ve had sexual intercourse with the member of the opposite sex but this definition leaves a lot of people out of the loop. While the social policy makers look to redefine marriage to include same sex partnerships, maybe it is time we also revisited what it means to be a virgin.

When we think of virgins, we think of “white wedding innocents” who are pure and decent but the fact is, the standard definition of virginity lets you get away with having many different kinds of sex and still being able to call yourself a virgin. In theory, under the traditional definition of virginity, homosexuals can have sex every day and still be a virgin. You can have oral sex regularly and still be a virgin. Does that really make sense when we use virginity as a yard still to measure innocence, morality and purity?

We should ask ourselves how these situations fit in to the definition of virginity.

  • Is someone who is raped or molested no longer a virgin?
  • Is actual intercourse the only act that counts when determining ones virginity?
  • If you willingly engage in other intimate sexual acts but do not have intercourse, is it fair to still consider yourself a virgin?
  • How would you define losing your virginity if you were/are homosexual or bisexual?
  • Is being a virgin based on your feelings, what you do, or is it a combination of both?
  • Is there an emotional component to losing your virginity, meaning if you have sex but don’t feel anything is different about you, does it count?
  • Does the current definition of virginity not exclude homosexuals? Is this right?
  • Is virginity subjective (based on how the individual view themselves and what they do) or objective (how the situation is viewed by others on the outside)?
  • Is the current definition of virginity and the social stigma attached to it not biased toward girls?  Is this right?

Now a day, when women are librated and the issue of virginity is not as serious as it used to be, I would say nobody can stand to say he/she is a virgin if the old standard are to be used. This is because even those that have never had sex before or have their hymen intact are not as decent as those that are sexually active. You’ll be shocked at how far these so called virgins can go, all they want is “no rod in the hole anything else goes”. So who should we call virgins

Virginity should be an emotional and a psychological thing, not purely physical. Virginity is a virtue. Only a woman and her whole being should answer to that, not just her one negligible body part. A lot of feminist groups and even medical organizations are all working together to enlighten the public about the facts and fallacies behind the hymens. I do hope, that in the near future, tightly knit conservative places would embrace the whole hymen concept and eventually transform their way of thinking.

Virginity and Gender.

Now, when we talk of virginity, what comes to mind as I said before is the loss of hymen. One should then be forced to ask if this hymen is in both genders.

  • Is a man even expected to be a virgin?
  • Is a man’s sexual drive higher than that of a woman?

We live in a world where to be a real man you have to have conquered a number of women. Boys are expected to be sexually active as early as 15 while the girls are expected to wait until they get married. This allows a gap that forces us to ask “who are these boys supposed to sleep with if all the girls are to remain intact till they get married?” yet we look with disgust upon the girls that have lost their virginity. It is certainly not fair to let the boys loose and keep the girls in the case.

However, I’ll like to say this is my personal opinion, influence by my experience and background. Let me know what you think, you are allowed to disagree or agree in the comment box below.



In the early19th century, women were described as religious, pure, and submissive. During this time, the society placed them on a certain pedestal and they are obliged to remain pure and chaste; a woman’s virginity is one subject that held a very high place in most African cultures. Among other repercussions for the loss of virginity before marriage are, social rejection, excommunication from family, a bleak future… Faced with this dilemma, it is obvious that the subject of virginity is very delicate.

The Virginity Concept

People of long ago required a woman to preserve her innocence until after she found the right man to marry. They regarded it as her treasure, and she had to protect it at all times. Even an assault should not lead her to giving herself in and she must not give it to the wrong person. She must in all her power, resist any temptation that would lead to the loss of this treasure.

In the middle ages, a woman is still a virgin if her hymen is intact. The hymen is the tissue or membrane located around the vagina. Once the hymen is torn or stretched, the woman is no longer regarded as a virgin any. In most cultures a high consideration is placed on a woman’s hymen as the sole indicator of her sexual purity.

Breaking the Hymen

Hymens are relatively soft tissues and other activities other than sexual intercourse can break them. Women’s hymen are different in shape and size even some women are born without hymen. Some have it either too thin or too thick that it covers the whole vagina.

One of the popular hymen breaking activities is horseback riding. If you horseback a lot then chances are, your hymen could have been broken which is the reason why, for a long time, only men were allowed to ride women were supposed to use carriages. Certain sports like gymnastics and high jump can also damage the hymen.  Gymnasts perform as if their bones are made of jelly with all those muscles stretched out, it is understandable for the hymen to be as well.

The use of tampon can also damage the hymen. Tampon is made of absorbent material, but is pressed tight into a small cylinder shape. It works from inside the vagina as opposed to pads.Many girls start out using pads, but might want to use tampons when they do sports or go swimming.

Several medical procedures can also tear the hymen. Pap smear is one, and so does other procedures that require an instrument inserted through a woman’s vagina. If you have undergone such a treatment, hymen ripping is a possibility.

Continue to Missing Hymen II

Poetry Corner – My C’s by Fikayo Balogun

Poetry Corner – My C’s by Fikayo Balogun.

POETRY CORNER – Love is… By Fikayo Balogun

POETRY CORNER – Love is… By Fikayo Balogun.



The cool breeze made us sink deeper

across the ocean of slumber

sailing pass half-dead.


Then came the sound;

the hypnotic melody

and we knew there was no escape

from the great drummer.


Tom, tom, tom…

It started with a slow beat

luring us from the smooth,

delicate hands of deep slumber.

The drummer drummed hard and fast

on our brown rusted roof

robbing it of it colour

while hissing and whispering

a perfect harmonious song.


Mother rushed out

with buckets and bowls;

The drummer’s hands

must be imprisoned for rainy days.

Free from the clutch of slumber

we ran after mother into the open air

as she screamed, calling us back.


“Come back here! You little rascals

Or the cold would get you and see if I care”

We ignored her plea,

dancing to the songs of the night

as the drummer turned our skin

into his new drum.





Long after the night had expired,

I lie awake with thoughts

of a loving and handsome heart

knowing less than a foolish virgin

knows about the heart

and leaving my delicate rose

in the unknown mist of his hand.


The mystery of love

got me in its misty web

and filled me with so much agony

at your absence.

Cold shiver rake through me,

leaving bums over my heart

but you are nowhere to warm me

with your lingering kisses.


Darling, I miss you like a fish outside water.

Love, tarry a little with me

rock the world with me.

A memory of Halloween times

shared lingers on in my heart.


I miss you my honey pie

so come and be glued to me;

you belong to me forever.